This is about the third time I've sat down to write this post. Hence it is a week and a half since I've returned that I'm posting it. Maybe this is because the lovely Hayley couldn't come with me and as such I am a writer without a muse. Maybe it was because I felt the first two attempts were pretentious bullshit that violated the nature of our postings. Maybe India is just a confusing and contrasting place. Whatever the reason, I hope I've got it right this time.
I think I could very easily get used to Indian life. Yes its dirty, yes its chaos and yes the food is a mind field of bowel movements, yet I love the food, I love the dirtiness and how raw the place is and the chaos, whilst confronting at first, somehow only adds to its charater. Its something that you quickly become accustomed to also. On the way back the airport we were very nearly T-boned not far from my hotel. Had that happened when I first arrived I would probably have been hospitalised for shock, but having seen and experienced the way the roads function for two weeks, I simply smiled at how ridiculous it all was.
I recall being incredibly flustered when I first arrived. I got into Mumbai at around 11:30 p.m Sunday night and had to jump straight into a car to take the 3-4 hour drive to Pune to start work the next day. Despite my height making it typically difficult to sleep in car, I did manage to fall fast asleep. I woke up as we pulled into a truck stop at around 1 a.m. I got out of the car half asleep, managed to buy a packet of smokes and a lighter (which was the first time I had done such a thing in about 2 months) and then stood there just trying to take everything in as I smoked a cigarette. The stop was a row of stalls and vendors on the roadside and there were so many people there, especially for that time of night. I remember there was Hindi music pumping out loud and a shit load of people looking at me. I wasn't really sure if they looking at me as though thinking "what the fuck is he doing here?" or thinking "what the fuck has that guy taken?" given the state I was in, however given the number of stares I acquired throughout the duration of my stay I'd say it was the former.
Despite the looks, which sometimes inspired a jump on the part of the proponent to mimic my stature, the people were simply lovely. The guys in the office were absolutely amazing and made the time there so much easier and enjoyable. They took me out for the weekend to enjoy the real Pune, and not the one I saw in the Hotel lobby. Turns out the joint was actually the Indian capital at one point when the Peshwas ruled. There are statues of the Peshwa king all over the place and the palace grounds still stand in the centre of the city, despite the palace itself being burnt down. It is quite a funny place inside the walls of the palace. The inside is quite peaceful with its lawns and historic nature, but spilling over its walls is the fucking incessant sound of car horns.
That was the first impression I had of India, "lay of the fucking car horn champ". I remember getting out of Mumbai airport and being led to the car and all I could hear was car horn after car horn. I thought that it must just be busy being a Sunday night and that everyone was eager to get home. I was very much mistaken. I think the only thing Indians love more than cricket is getting the fucking car horn in traffic. The project manager for our supplier over there informed me that he has 3 different settings for his car horn. If you don't listen to the first two setting, the third is probably some form of the brown note which will cause you to shit yourself (That is about the third time I have mentioned pooing in this post, for those who are keeping count).
I think the contrast this palace presents is somewhat symbolic of where India is at the moment and why it is such an interesting time to visit. When you go to a department store there are sections dedicated to western styles, however the traditional garb still features prominently. This kind of mix can be seen everywhere. Its like the West is coming and they're ok with it, but they want to hang on to who they are and where they come from. In a way they're really thumbing their noses at those anti-G20 fucks who's only claim seems to be that globalisation is killing off all cultural identity and heritage. Well here are a people who proudly hold that culture in the highest regard whilst they propel themselves into the global economy with growth of 7-8 percent per annum (Oh yeah, there is nothing like an economic statistic to ge things hot and steamy).
I think perhaps the coolest example of this that I saw were the lorries that were decked out in traditional Indian ornaments. The whole front of the chasis would look like it was designed to star in a Bollywood film.
Now thats not to say that India is comepletely on its way. If you watch TV you would think these guys have money coming out of every orifice they possessed. Sachin Tendulkar, MS Dhoni and Shahrukh Kahn are on every second commercial promoting products for the affluent lifestyle. Cable TV, Sony Plasma TVs, 3G mobile phones. But then you get out on the street and these are no where to be seen. Stray dogs and goats eating out rubbish of the side of roads like a fucking gypsie animal jamboree. Tents and sheds constructed out of whatever material could be salvaged to build the family home. Run down apartments with half the building missing. Its a completely different place. Now I could go into the corruption of the place, but I think we all know about that and I think India deserves better than this. The locals have a fantastic sense of humour about themselves and the way their country is run. The video below was on an email getting sent around the office. It uses clips from a Bollywood out at the moment called Singham and has pasted the Prime Minister's head over the main charater's. It is probably the funniest bit of political satire I have seen in a long while and is a far cry more intelligent than those fucking "I bet I can get 100 000 Aussies who want Julia Gillard to take her top off" Facebook pages circulating around at the moment.
The thing I think I found most remarkable was the scenary. When you think of India, you think of the city streets cluttered and dirty. In Pune, whilst the city itself is in line with this, it is surrounding by beautiful mountain ranges. I was blown away by the drive back the airport and the trip we took out to the ranges over the weekend. The place was so green due to it being monsoon season and there was waterfall after waterall. After about the twenty or thirtieth waterfall on the drive back it was almost like "come on, now you're just showing off aren't you? Oh look at me I've got waterfalls coming out of my arse" but it was truly remarkable. We drove past small waterfalls falling right next to the road. I would attach some photos here to show you what I meant but my photos are rubbish so I won't bother. Just close your eyes and picture it in your head. Nice yeah?
Peace and love to my Lord and saviour, I'm out.
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