Who Nose?

This post is particularly distasteful.

I've been noticing that since I've got to Singapore I've been picking my nose a whole lot more. I'm not saying that its something new I've picked up like knitting or chlamydia, which I should note, I haven't picked up either of those so don't worry. But I'm doing it with more frequency and in a more public setting then I would ever be game to do back home.

Now I offer two reasons for this, neither of which I'm sure hold any weight, but might be fun to pad out. The first of these reasons is that I'm in Asia and it just might be that I view that kind of thing as being OK in the region and, as such, I feel comfortable enough to indulge in the practice in such enhanced fashion. Is that racist? That I think that in this culture its acceptable to behave in such vulgar manner in public? Maybe its not racist and I've just "nose dived" right into living here. Oh boom. Did he? Did he? Yeah, he did.

Quickly distancing myself from that last exchange I offer my other explanation. I used to suffer from sinuses really bad as a young adolescent, struggling to come to terms with the world with a nose like a fucking fog horn. However in recent years I've seen my Hayfever become less prevalent. Since moving here I have noticed that my sinus are a touch more on edge and I have a theory for why that is. I have a view that the tropics are a kind of Club Med for plants. All these attractive young plants out there in the heat with nothing better to do than get freaky with one another, meaning that you end up with a couple of young stud plants spraying pollen around like a male porn star who can't aim. These over hyped stamen let lose a torrent of plant love into the air for all sinus sufferers to endure.

This is by no means a reasonable account of why I've taken to my nasal cavaity which such fervour, but it did give me an opportunity to use that last joke which I've been mulling over since my early days here.