Tiger Crystal Party

In my role as the Golden Child it is my duty to fluke crazy shit and tell you stories about it. And so here is the tale of how whilst drinking free beer, I won more free beer.

I saw on Facebook that Tiger Beer Singapore were promoting a Tiger Crystal Party. For anyone who hasn't had a Tiger Crystal and likes light flavoured beers that you can drink for a day and a half at a time, Tiger Crystal is right up your alley. The competition involved clicking a button on their Facebook page to open a bottle of beer and see if you'd won an invite. As luck would have it, I won. I got on the phone to Mort to inform him of my good fortune, but also of the dilemma we now faced. It was only a double pass. However, in the eleventh hour, Mort came through winning one of the last passes to be released, meaning the four of us would be team up for an onslaught that would see the beer supply fail before the allotted end time.

The party took place down at the Tanjong Beach Club on Sentosa. Now I will fill in the blanks as to what that actually means. Sentosa is a little island in Singapore. Having "reclaimed" so much land, the two islands are almost now one and are connected by a bridge measuring only a couple of hundred metres in length. Sentosa is kind of the Gold Coast / Las Vegas of Singapore. The Tanjong Beach Club is literally on Tanjong Beach. The floor is sand within its realms along the sand is a swimming pool. Yep, a swimming pool on the beach. Gotta love it.

So we arrive, show our E-Pass to verify ourselves and are handed a wrist band each. We wanted to wander away from the party down near the water on the beach, rather than the pool. So we asked if we could take an ice bucket full of beer with us. The promoters said yes. This is probably the point where we realised just how much we were likely to get away with for the day. To let us stock up on beer and walk away with it was definitely not a wise move.

We took our beers and headed down to the water. When I saw a giant floating trampoline in the water I was obviously going to try and ride the thing. So we made our way towards but noticed a guy on the beaching waving at us saying not to. There was no way I was going to miss this opportunity so I headed back up the beach towards the guy to speak to him. When I reached him I asked if we could jump on which he declined saying that it was only for private parties. I then launched into the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever said to try to get something.

I explained that I was a Jetstar representative and Mort was from Tourism Australia and together we were putting together an advertising campaign about Singapore Tourism and this kind of thing was just what we were looking to promote over here. Eventually with enough bullshit, the guy relented and allowed just the two of us to jump on, as long as we wore a life jacket. It was really, really worth it. It was exhausting up there, but lots of fun. I noticed though just how unfit I currently am when I had to stop trying to jump on the tramp and lie down for a bit. It was hard work given there was no real bounce back up as the water kind of absorbed it, but still, chubbs needs to sort that shit out.




Having had our fun on the tramp and somehow ending up playing a game of touch rugby with the locals, with some of the loosest rules I've ever played under, we found our way back up to the party to lounge in the pool. At first it looked as though the Club was taking issue with us carrying drinks in the water, but they then supplied us with plastic cups to carry around. We basically spent the rest of the afternoon in the pool drinking bucket after bucket of beer. At one stage I think we had about 20-30 beers lined up along the side of the pool and were certainly supplying patrons who were not part of our exclusive breed.



Then I think the strangest part of the afternoon happened. I have to say, I was well gone at this point. I can hardly remember any of this, just a kind of hazy outline. Somehow, I tuned in to what was happening right at the time when they were drawing the major prizes. Through my semi-unconsciousness I managed to decifer the instructions as to where to find my lucky door prize number on my wrist band, which was actually hard to find. I found the numbers and start reading them, as the girl on stage is reading out the first winning number and they match. It was like we were reading them together in unison.

From this point up until I arrived on stage is very hazy. The pool was an infinity pool and the edge nearest the stage was a wall on the other side. Somehow, having made a "WOOOOOO" noise, I managed to scale the wall and run up onto the stage where I stood before the crowd with my arms raised as though I was on a podium. I can remember being asked my name to which I replied but can't remember what happened directly after that. Then there was a representative from Tiger who was posing for photos with all the winners. I naturally tried to pash him on the cheek, which caused him to rear away from me. Them I remember being whisked off to the side to fill in my address details. I made about three attempts to get my address, E Pass number and Post Code right and kept running back and forwards with the various bits of information. In retrospect all those times I ran backwards and forwards to the pool, I was probably running through the presentation but had no idea that I was doing it.



So I won a years supply of Tiger Crystal (12 slabs) and $300 in shopping vouchers. The Golden Child reigns supreme. But I think possibly the most fun was waking up the next day and seeing all these photos of us all over Facebook posted by Tiger. There is one photo that I have no idea when it happened. I seem to recall having an ice bucket full of water and a bunch of guys telling me to put it on my head, but I could be imagining that. Anyway, there was one photo of me with an ice bucket over my head. Great times.